This session we talked about negative thoughts we have about ourselves, where they come from and how they perpetuate. I had to smile when the scenario they used was, " you come back from a meeting to find your colleagues have gone for coffee without you". I told them it happened to me, but it wasn't coffee, it was the Christmas party! Then I felt the familiar punch-in-the-stomach feeling I get when I think of myself back then and how it took me another ten months after this incident to walk out of there. Did I really think so little of myself to put myself through it for so long? What was stopping me? Not that it matters now.
Part of my homework is to write a list of things I like about myself. There are a lot of things I like about myself. Or about the person I usually am. I am still not feeling myself, but I'm getting there. Slowly.
I have a meeting with my boss tomorrow to discuss my progress and plan next month's hours. I hope to go up to 30 hours - not sure I'm ready for full-time yet. I think she's happy with me so far. Let's see what happens!
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