What is ambition? I have been asking myself this question repeatedly over the past few days. Ambition is aiming at something and striving to reach it right? Does it matter what that is? Is there a bar at which something stops being a simple whimsey or idea and turns to ambition?
I have been telling myself I want to be a librarian. I have been telling everyone I want to be a librarian. What I really want to do is play with books and paper. Having spoken to a librarian, this is something that, in fact, librarians do not do. It is a dying profession. It is becoming an archaic idea. Why do people need books when they have the internet and e-books? This upsets me but it is the way the world is heading.
No, what I really want to do is archiving. Paper. Lots and lots of paper. I much prefer paper to people. Paper makes sense. So to do this I need a degree right? Which is why I'm studying with the Open University. I am coming to the end of my foundation year and I have really been enjoying the learning process again. Structured learning.
So, near future, my ambition is a degree. Simple. Only I am now finding my final assignment a struggle. All this sudden fascination with 'ambition' has taken my eye off my target. I am finally working towards the very thing I am aiming for and ironically the idea of ambition is getting in my way.
I just have to keep reminding myself why I am studying. So I can reach my goal. So I can wear the cap and gown and prove to myself that I can do it. I CAN do it, can't I? I just need to do it one assignment at a time. So start with this one...
"Leisure is a Time for Relaxation'. Do I agree or disagree with this statement?
Dunno.
Showing posts with label Belief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Belief. Show all posts
Friday, 17 May 2013
Tuesday, 24 April 2012
Square Peg
... this is what my boss called me. It is true but a little offensive considering they are the ones trying to jam me into a round hole. I didn't choose the hole! I never would have chosen the hole marked 'Human Resources' - I want as little human contact as possible.
At least when I am a librarian I will have contact only with people who want to be in the library - my kind of people!
I ventured into Central Library yesterday (not my favourite place since they replaced people with computers and books with DVDs). Perhaps if a book has a return date it will encourage me to finish it, rather than it sitting on a pile of other unfinished books with receipts or chocolate wrappers used to mark my slow progress.
I chose the biographies of Martin Luther King Jr. and Paulo Coelho (writer of The Alchemist). Both these men have had a profound effect on how people view the world. I want to find out what it takes for someone to find the power to change things. I recently read Nelson Mandela's 'Long Walk to Freedom'. He shows that, in having a complete and unflinching belief in something, you can change things not only for yourself, but for an entire country. An entire world.
Ghandi said, "be the change you want to see in the world"
I also read Wangari Maathai's 'Challenge for Africa' - this Kenyan woman believed that if every African were to plant a single tree, this would solve all of Africa's problems. I was in Kenya when Wangari died of ovarian cancer in 2011. Everyone was encouraged to plant a 'Wangari Tree' on the day of her funeral. The question everyone asked when meeting each other was "have you planted your Wangari Tree?" It was beautiful. We planted our tree in my mother's garden in Nakuru, Kenya. It is amazing how such a small gesture could have a profound effect on people's beliefs.
I can keep searching for my square hole, or I can carve one myself. But I don't know if I have the strength, the resolve, or the belief in myself. How do I find it? Because at this moment I feel weak and helpless. I have the tools but there is no instruction manual!
At least when I am a librarian I will have contact only with people who want to be in the library - my kind of people!
I ventured into Central Library yesterday (not my favourite place since they replaced people with computers and books with DVDs). Perhaps if a book has a return date it will encourage me to finish it, rather than it sitting on a pile of other unfinished books with receipts or chocolate wrappers used to mark my slow progress.
I chose the biographies of Martin Luther King Jr. and Paulo Coelho (writer of The Alchemist). Both these men have had a profound effect on how people view the world. I want to find out what it takes for someone to find the power to change things. I recently read Nelson Mandela's 'Long Walk to Freedom'. He shows that, in having a complete and unflinching belief in something, you can change things not only for yourself, but for an entire country. An entire world.
Ghandi said, "be the change you want to see in the world"
I also read Wangari Maathai's 'Challenge for Africa' - this Kenyan woman believed that if every African were to plant a single tree, this would solve all of Africa's problems. I was in Kenya when Wangari died of ovarian cancer in 2011. Everyone was encouraged to plant a 'Wangari Tree' on the day of her funeral. The question everyone asked when meeting each other was "have you planted your Wangari Tree?" It was beautiful. We planted our tree in my mother's garden in Nakuru, Kenya. It is amazing how such a small gesture could have a profound effect on people's beliefs.
I can keep searching for my square hole, or I can carve one myself. But I don't know if I have the strength, the resolve, or the belief in myself. How do I find it? Because at this moment I feel weak and helpless. I have the tools but there is no instruction manual!
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